Packing and preparing for college this year was different than I expected. I noticed that my heart was heavy, my soul grew tired, and physically I was not receiving quality sleep. I went to God desperate for some answers because I wanted to get rid of this overwhelming feeling. As I began to find the root of my situation, I was reminded of my many roles on campus. From there I started to understand why I was feeling this way…
I am afraid. I need to say it again. I am afraid! I am afraid I will not meet the expectations of the roles I have on campus or even my own expectations I give myself. I am afraid I will fail people in my life. I am afraid that all of my responsibilities will be too much for me to handle. I am afraid I will get lost in constantly doing something.
This overwhelming feeling stole my joy and excitement for this new school year! However, when I was honest with myself AND God I realized how much weight was lifted from me. I began feeling excited again. The fact of the matter is that I will not be perfect in my roles, I will make mistakes, and my responsibilities will be too much for me. It will get overwhelming and I cannot deny that. However, I cannot deny who my God is either. He is the source of my strength. I believe that God has given me the roles I have on campus for a reason, and I believe for many reasons. I am so honored to be serving and leading in different areas across campus, but I am also called to be a child of God. He is my Father who still needs to feed and teach me. To do so, I must humble myself and become obedient to Him and my calling. I need to draw from His water and when I did He reminded me of something great!
“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
1 Timothy 1:7
Because I have accepted God as Lord of my life, I have the Spirit of the living God living inside me! I do not need to be shy or intimidated for what is to come! He is the One who calls me out beyond the shores and makes me brave.
I am excited! I can definitely say that again: I AM EXCITED!! Year two of college will be a great year. I see a lot of growth and transformation happening this year, not only in myself but in others and on campus! I truly am thankful for having the opportunity to attend college and to take one step closer to fulfilling my calling. Thank You, God, for always taking care of me and providing what I need.